There is an epidemic going on in this world that I feel obligated to address. It's spreading like wildfire, helped along by the Internet and social networking sites. We need to do something about it before it gets any worse. What is this phenomenon?
Over sharing.
Really, people, give it a rest. Guess what. While I don't mind knowing that you were sick today, I don't need to know how many times you puked, as well as the color and consistency. I don't need to know all the sordid details about your hookup or breakup. The relationship status will do, thankyouverymuch. While I love you, my friends, and care about what's important to you, and I am ecstatic when my friends have babies...I don't need to see pictures of the bloody lil one. How about the cute ones after he's at least wiped down. And no nudey pix of your kiddos. That's just wrong.
This also leads to a subgroup of people who are constantly putting up statuses involving how sad and depressed they are all the time...I worry about those people. I want to help my friends who are feeling down, but is Facebook really the best medium to discuss your depression?? Half the time I feel like they are just attention-seekers. I know when I have put things up it's usually to get a reaction or at least get people to know something's going on. But let's face it, all my statuses are to get a reaction ;)
Now it seems that what started online has begun to leak into every day lives. Now I'm talking about those people who like to share every minute detail of their lives with anyone who will listen, and even those who don't want to. They are trapped by propriety and the desire to avoid coming across as rude. So they stand and smile as they are bombarded with details about anything from how exactly to cook that special dish to a detailed report of finances. Then they are pulled unwittingly (and unwillingly) into a competition about who has more or less of any given possession or time or love or...well...anything!
What happened to the days of keeping personal things to ourselves? When did it become okay to share everything with everyone? Even I have caught myself doing this exact thing. It's contagious, I swear.
On a more serious note, one thing that I think is really scary about over sharing is the fact that we've forgotten how to listen. We are so intent on getting our own information out there for others to enjoy (scrutinize) that we forget to listen to other people. We have become so wrapped up in ourselves that we miss the important things that are going on in the lives of those we love. The following is an excerpt from an email devotional I received today, and then posted on Facebook ;)
“The first service that we can perform for anyone is to listen,” says Dietrich Bonhoeffer.
Most of us don’t listen well. “I know just how you feel,” we say, and then we launch into a personal story to prove it. What have we just done? We’ve moved to center stage and made the other person listen to us! When we talk too much and listen too little, we communicate to others that we think our ideas or experiences are more important than theirs.
Interesting thoughts. Something we would all do well to think about.
This has been a public service announcement, brought to you by my brain.
Thank you and goodnight.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Monday, April 12, 2010
In the eye of the beholder
Sometimes I wish everyone were blind. Of course, that would present a number of difficulties, not the least of which would be the constant need for ice from bumping into walls and each other. (Not that blind people bump into things a lot, I'm just thinking with the number of times I bump into things when I can see, the prospect of me without sight is a bit frightening.)
Anyway, I have had several conversations recently about how much physical appearance matters. Mostly this has been in the context of relationships. Now, I will admit that there has to be some degree of physical attraction to someone you are dating, or would like to date. But should that be the most important factor? For me (and granted, I am a self-proclaimed Odd Duck), personality means so much more than physical appearance, mostly because I see someone's personality reflected in their appearance. Someone who is really good-looking but super shallow and jerky really isn't attractive to me. Depending on the level of rot in their personality, I am sometimes actually repulsed by them. Now, there haven't been that many people who repulse me in my life. I am usually able to see at least some positives. But on the other side, and I think more importantly, someone who is not considered "attractive" by the silly standards of most people, but who has a great personality, can be the most attractive person in the world to me. Would I date a guy who was shorter than me? That was the question posed to me today. If we clicked, if his personality, values, and humor meshed well with mine? Absolutely.
How many people are really able to look beyond outward appearance though? Not many. As I said before, I have had this conversation a lot lately, and most people seem to place a tremendous amount of importance on outward appearance. Even looking beyond relationships, attractive people are treated better a lot of times than unattractive people. We go around judging people by what they look like, how fat or thin, tall or short, young or old they are. It's interesting going out with my hot friends. Very different experience from going out alone. In fact, when I go out alone, I try not to make eye contact...and other people do the same. It works. I did a research paper in my undergraduate social psychology class and learned they have done long term studies regarding outward appearance. Even as children, those considered more visually appealing are treated more deferentially. While a "cute" child being naughty is played off as being precocious, a less attractive child is seen as inherently naughty, and punished accordingly. This happens with teachers, other students, even parents and other adults. Appalling.
Bottom line is, I am super disheartened by the role physical appearance plays in how people are treated, in and out of relationships. I am seriously an optimist by nature, but if my friends can say they would turn down a guy for his height, how can I hold on to hope that any guy could look past my outward appearance and see how amazingly fantastic I am? It's not often you hear someone say, "Hey, check out the personality on that one!" It just makes me sad.
I'll try to bring some funny later in the week. No promises.
Anyway, I have had several conversations recently about how much physical appearance matters. Mostly this has been in the context of relationships. Now, I will admit that there has to be some degree of physical attraction to someone you are dating, or would like to date. But should that be the most important factor? For me (and granted, I am a self-proclaimed Odd Duck), personality means so much more than physical appearance, mostly because I see someone's personality reflected in their appearance. Someone who is really good-looking but super shallow and jerky really isn't attractive to me. Depending on the level of rot in their personality, I am sometimes actually repulsed by them. Now, there haven't been that many people who repulse me in my life. I am usually able to see at least some positives. But on the other side, and I think more importantly, someone who is not considered "attractive" by the silly standards of most people, but who has a great personality, can be the most attractive person in the world to me. Would I date a guy who was shorter than me? That was the question posed to me today. If we clicked, if his personality, values, and humor meshed well with mine? Absolutely.
How many people are really able to look beyond outward appearance though? Not many. As I said before, I have had this conversation a lot lately, and most people seem to place a tremendous amount of importance on outward appearance. Even looking beyond relationships, attractive people are treated better a lot of times than unattractive people. We go around judging people by what they look like, how fat or thin, tall or short, young or old they are. It's interesting going out with my hot friends. Very different experience from going out alone. In fact, when I go out alone, I try not to make eye contact...and other people do the same. It works. I did a research paper in my undergraduate social psychology class and learned they have done long term studies regarding outward appearance. Even as children, those considered more visually appealing are treated more deferentially. While a "cute" child being naughty is played off as being precocious, a less attractive child is seen as inherently naughty, and punished accordingly. This happens with teachers, other students, even parents and other adults. Appalling.
Bottom line is, I am super disheartened by the role physical appearance plays in how people are treated, in and out of relationships. I am seriously an optimist by nature, but if my friends can say they would turn down a guy for his height, how can I hold on to hope that any guy could look past my outward appearance and see how amazingly fantastic I am? It's not often you hear someone say, "Hey, check out the personality on that one!" It just makes me sad.
I'll try to bring some funny later in the week. No promises.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
A New Idea in Vacationing! Brought to you by Phyllis.
So Rena has been on my case for some time now asking me to write a guest blog. So I, Phyllis, have finally caved into the relentless peer pressure on the part of Ms. Rena Olsen and come to you with my own random thoughts. I will do my best to maintain the level of randomness and humor you have all come to expect from this blog. So here it goes.
Earlier this week Rena and I, and a few other co-worker who shall remain nameless (Rena I think you should give them nicknames too) were having a little chit chat in The Cube. As many of you know The Cube is the place where Rena and I spend about 40 hours a week. All things considered The Cube is generally a very exciting place, but can at times get a little hectic. On this particular day Rena and I were discussing going on a vacation together, after some discussion about where and when we would go, we came up with a most brilliant idea.
You see we have discovered a new option in resort vacations. This particular resort is all inclusive and you only have to pay a fraction of the total cost out of your pocket. The resort provides three meals a day, a myriad of activities to participate in, and a 24 hour nursing station if you were to find yourself feeling under the weather. You can get single room or a room with a roommate. . .but if you are bringing a friend the roommate issue is taken care of. This resort even provides clothing for the time you are there, so you don’t even have to pack! (I hate packing, I always feel as though I am forgetting something and then when you get back you have put everything away again. . .too much work) The best part of this resort, however, is the rooms. . .you see you there is no furniture in the room because the walls, the floor, and the ceiling are all upholstered with a very plush, marshmallow like, material, leaving plenty of space to practice your tumbling and roll around on the floor like you did when you were little. You see ladies and gentlemen we are taking a vacation to the Nut House.
Now for those of who know Rena and the few of you that know me are probably not shocked by this idea and some of you are probably thinking it’s about time. But I urge you to take a step back and think about this idea for a moment. It’s perfect. . .it’s all inclusive. . .and no one will expect a thing from you while you are there, because well, you’re crazy.
We did however come up with one issue that needs to be addressed. They may occasionally expect you talk about your feelings and the friends that live in your head. But fear not we have come up with a solution for that as well. When one of the nice resort workers asks you about these things start rocking back and forth. . .come on now practice while you are reading this. . .rock back and forth and start clapping your hands. If that does not succeed in getting them to back off attempt to bite your own ear. . .next time you are in the bathroom look at yourself in the mirror while you try to bite your own ear. . .I promise it will be very entertaining. . .just ask Rena, she watched me do it the other day in The Cube. . .and it’s good practice for your own upcoming vacation.
So I implore you all the next time you are considering taking some time to get away, put some serious thought into checking yourself into the Nut House. It doesn’t even have to be your local Nut House, find a city you have always wanted to visit and find a nice resort there. It could quite possibly be the most refreshing vacation you will ever take.
Note from Rena:
Well done, Phyllis. Definitely up to par. What you failed to mention, however, is our specific plan for our vacation together. We decided to have rooms next to each other with a window in between. However, the downside to this is Phyllis' need to watch me while I sleep. I can see it now...I wake up and see two eyes shining in the moonlight from my small window...
Me: Phyllis? Is that you?
P: No, go back to sleep.
Me: Phyllis, we talked about this, you can't watch me while I sleep. It's creepy.
P: I'm not. Shhh. Go back to sleep.
Phyllis is now denying this conversation ever happened. Don't tell her...but I secretly think it's nice to have someone watch over you while you sleep...in a non-stalker, non-creepy way, of course.
See you at the nuthouse!
Earlier this week Rena and I, and a few other co-worker who shall remain nameless (Rena I think you should give them nicknames too) were having a little chit chat in The Cube. As many of you know The Cube is the place where Rena and I spend about 40 hours a week. All things considered The Cube is generally a very exciting place, but can at times get a little hectic. On this particular day Rena and I were discussing going on a vacation together, after some discussion about where and when we would go, we came up with a most brilliant idea.
You see we have discovered a new option in resort vacations. This particular resort is all inclusive and you only have to pay a fraction of the total cost out of your pocket. The resort provides three meals a day, a myriad of activities to participate in, and a 24 hour nursing station if you were to find yourself feeling under the weather. You can get single room or a room with a roommate. . .but if you are bringing a friend the roommate issue is taken care of. This resort even provides clothing for the time you are there, so you don’t even have to pack! (I hate packing, I always feel as though I am forgetting something and then when you get back you have put everything away again. . .too much work) The best part of this resort, however, is the rooms. . .you see you there is no furniture in the room because the walls, the floor, and the ceiling are all upholstered with a very plush, marshmallow like, material, leaving plenty of space to practice your tumbling and roll around on the floor like you did when you were little. You see ladies and gentlemen we are taking a vacation to the Nut House.
Now for those of who know Rena and the few of you that know me are probably not shocked by this idea and some of you are probably thinking it’s about time. But I urge you to take a step back and think about this idea for a moment. It’s perfect. . .it’s all inclusive. . .and no one will expect a thing from you while you are there, because well, you’re crazy.
We did however come up with one issue that needs to be addressed. They may occasionally expect you talk about your feelings and the friends that live in your head. But fear not we have come up with a solution for that as well. When one of the nice resort workers asks you about these things start rocking back and forth. . .come on now practice while you are reading this. . .rock back and forth and start clapping your hands. If that does not succeed in getting them to back off attempt to bite your own ear. . .next time you are in the bathroom look at yourself in the mirror while you try to bite your own ear. . .I promise it will be very entertaining. . .just ask Rena, she watched me do it the other day in The Cube. . .and it’s good practice for your own upcoming vacation.
So I implore you all the next time you are considering taking some time to get away, put some serious thought into checking yourself into the Nut House. It doesn’t even have to be your local Nut House, find a city you have always wanted to visit and find a nice resort there. It could quite possibly be the most refreshing vacation you will ever take.
Note from Rena:
Well done, Phyllis. Definitely up to par. What you failed to mention, however, is our specific plan for our vacation together. We decided to have rooms next to each other with a window in between. However, the downside to this is Phyllis' need to watch me while I sleep. I can see it now...I wake up and see two eyes shining in the moonlight from my small window...
Me: Phyllis? Is that you?
P: No, go back to sleep.
Me: Phyllis, we talked about this, you can't watch me while I sleep. It's creepy.
P: I'm not. Shhh. Go back to sleep.
Phyllis is now denying this conversation ever happened. Don't tell her...but I secretly think it's nice to have someone watch over you while you sleep...in a non-stalker, non-creepy way, of course.
See you at the nuthouse!
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
First Impressions
Did you know that the original title for Jane Austen's "Pride and Prejudice" was "First Impressions?" What she chose was a bit more attention grabbing (although I think it leads people to believe it is much more scholarly than it actually is ;)), but what she passed up was actually a much more fitting title. I'm not sure how many of you have read the book, but the entire story is based around mistaken first impressions of people, and how they can majorly affect how we react to people and situations.
I know it's cliche to say that first impressions don't last, but I'm glad to say it's true. It's pretty funny to look back at the first impressions we've had with people and to look at our relationships now. My best friend from high school, Libby, is a great example for me. I thought she was soooo strange when I first met her. Now, I know what you're thinking, I know I'm strange too. So that says something about her weirdness ;) (I don't think she reads this...but if she does...she knows all this!) After I was dumped by my group of friends in favor of alcohol, Libby was there and she became my closest and most loyal friend. None of my close friends were people that I met and said, oh wow, we are definitely going to be friends for life. I don't mean that in a mean way. Maybe I'm just a bad judge of character at first. Lol.
The reason I bring this up is because we were talking in the cube today about what Phyllis thought of me when she first met me. Now, the following is pure heresay because I don't remember any of it. Apparently, I had contact with Phyllis twice before I actually remember meeting her for the first time. I don't remember which time came first, but once I was walking down the hall and didn't smile at her, and once I was the only one in the cube when she was getting a tour and I didn't even turn around. As a result, Phyllis was scared of me when she started working with me. I guess I came across as mean. Now, what I remember is looking up her picture, then coming in on her first day and finding her waiting by the front desk because the secretary couldn't get ahold of Amanda. Of course I offered a friendly smile and introduced myself, then told her she could come up with me. I had no idea she was internally cringing because I had to be the one to stumble upon her. Thankfully, I think we have overcome that first impression. Many times over. Haha.
Anyway, I could give a lot of examples that go both ways, bad first impressions that turned out well, or good first impressions that were completely off the mark. I just think it's funny to think about. Did you know your best friends were going to be your best friends when you met them? How about those of you that are married? Did you know you wanted to marry that person right away, or did they have to grow on you? Sometimes I wonder if I have already met my future husband, and wonder what I think about him now. (That was really confusing, but it totally made sense in my mind.) Or if I will know when I meet him if he's not already in my life.
Alright, so another introspective entry. Sorry, Phyllis! Gotta have 'em sometimes! Ooo, Star Trek is on...
I know it's cliche to say that first impressions don't last, but I'm glad to say it's true. It's pretty funny to look back at the first impressions we've had with people and to look at our relationships now. My best friend from high school, Libby, is a great example for me. I thought she was soooo strange when I first met her. Now, I know what you're thinking, I know I'm strange too. So that says something about her weirdness ;) (I don't think she reads this...but if she does...she knows all this!) After I was dumped by my group of friends in favor of alcohol, Libby was there and she became my closest and most loyal friend. None of my close friends were people that I met and said, oh wow, we are definitely going to be friends for life. I don't mean that in a mean way. Maybe I'm just a bad judge of character at first. Lol.
The reason I bring this up is because we were talking in the cube today about what Phyllis thought of me when she first met me. Now, the following is pure heresay because I don't remember any of it. Apparently, I had contact with Phyllis twice before I actually remember meeting her for the first time. I don't remember which time came first, but once I was walking down the hall and didn't smile at her, and once I was the only one in the cube when she was getting a tour and I didn't even turn around. As a result, Phyllis was scared of me when she started working with me. I guess I came across as mean. Now, what I remember is looking up her picture, then coming in on her first day and finding her waiting by the front desk because the secretary couldn't get ahold of Amanda. Of course I offered a friendly smile and introduced myself, then told her she could come up with me. I had no idea she was internally cringing because I had to be the one to stumble upon her. Thankfully, I think we have overcome that first impression. Many times over. Haha.
Anyway, I could give a lot of examples that go both ways, bad first impressions that turned out well, or good first impressions that were completely off the mark. I just think it's funny to think about. Did you know your best friends were going to be your best friends when you met them? How about those of you that are married? Did you know you wanted to marry that person right away, or did they have to grow on you? Sometimes I wonder if I have already met my future husband, and wonder what I think about him now. (That was really confusing, but it totally made sense in my mind.) Or if I will know when I meet him if he's not already in my life.
Alright, so another introspective entry. Sorry, Phyllis! Gotta have 'em sometimes! Ooo, Star Trek is on...
Monday, March 29, 2010
Confessions (again)
I know that to most people, I am seen as generally a good person, an angel even. I mean, who can blame them? However, not wanting people to have the total wrong idea, I wanted get some things off my chest. You see, contrary to popular belief*, I'm not perfect. So the following are a few confessions that will give people a better idea of my real character.
- At the Taco John's we go to in Des Moines, I often take more ketchup packets than the sign allows. I like to keep a stockpile of them at the office.
- Sometimes I park in fifteen minute parking when I know I will be someplace for more than fifteen minutes.
- I judge people by their ringtones.
- I consistently drive at least three miles over the speed limit.
- I secretly believe I am a superior driver and everyone else drives stupid.
- One time when I was like four I stole a screw off the floor of a hardware shop. I put it in the little side zipper pocket of my boot. (My dad found out and made me return it)
- When I get my hair done, I like to make up stories when the hairdresser asks questions.
- If I get a willing partner, I like pretend I just met my friend and talk loud enough for those around us to hear. This works especially well in airplanes. Most recently I did this on the plane from Miami to Minneapolis. Angie and I pretended we just met, and I told her about how electricity just came to my town in Iowa and we were hoping for indoor plumbing next.
- I lie a lot. When people ask me how I am, I say "fine," even when I'm not. This happens several times a day. I also have a fear of confrontation, so often I lie by omission.**
- I pull pranks on people and then play innocent. Phyllis will be especially delighted that I am confessing to this one, as she is often the target.
- One time I broke a beautiful Easter egg my mom had and blamed it on the cat. I was overcome with guilt for the lie and confessed later on.
Phew. I think that's all I can handle divulging tonight. Don't think less of me...
*Yes, I realize that it isn't "popular belief" that I am perfect. Remember, I majored in sarcasm...
**This may be my most real confession. That isn't saying much.
- At the Taco John's we go to in Des Moines, I often take more ketchup packets than the sign allows. I like to keep a stockpile of them at the office.
- Sometimes I park in fifteen minute parking when I know I will be someplace for more than fifteen minutes.
- I judge people by their ringtones.
- I consistently drive at least three miles over the speed limit.
- I secretly believe I am a superior driver and everyone else drives stupid.
- One time when I was like four I stole a screw off the floor of a hardware shop. I put it in the little side zipper pocket of my boot. (My dad found out and made me return it)
- When I get my hair done, I like to make up stories when the hairdresser asks questions.
- If I get a willing partner, I like pretend I just met my friend and talk loud enough for those around us to hear. This works especially well in airplanes. Most recently I did this on the plane from Miami to Minneapolis. Angie and I pretended we just met, and I told her about how electricity just came to my town in Iowa and we were hoping for indoor plumbing next.
- I lie a lot. When people ask me how I am, I say "fine," even when I'm not. This happens several times a day. I also have a fear of confrontation, so often I lie by omission.**
- I pull pranks on people and then play innocent. Phyllis will be especially delighted that I am confessing to this one, as she is often the target.
- One time I broke a beautiful Easter egg my mom had and blamed it on the cat. I was overcome with guilt for the lie and confessed later on.
Phew. I think that's all I can handle divulging tonight. Don't think less of me...
*Yes, I realize that it isn't "popular belief" that I am perfect. Remember, I majored in sarcasm...
**This may be my most real confession. That isn't saying much.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Reality: The Next Generation
Today I was having a conversation at work with my boss, Amanda, and she mentioned, as she has before, that I should have my own reality television show. Apparently I'm entertaining. Or it could be one of those things like when you can't look away from a car wreck. Or something. I think she first mentioned it when one of the wheels on my chair broke off, making my chair tipsy, and I decided to name my chair "Eileen." (Get it? "I lean?" Hahahahahaha, I slay me.) So anyway, I thought that in case any big producers are looking for the next big thing, I would give a little taste of what a day in the life of Rena might look like...
The scene opens as the sun streams through the slats of the window blinds onto a still figure. The room is beautiful and immaculate, and the woman in the bed sleeps peacefully, radiating beauty and warmth even in slumber. As the birds announce the beginning of another day, she stirs, opening her eyes and sitting up gracefully, arms reaching in a luxurious stretch. She catches sight of the cameras and gives a friendly smile, her straight white teeth glinting in the sunlight.
BWAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, so we're not in a Disney movie. Sorry, I'll start again.
In reality, it would probably start with me hiding under my comforter from the light. I would be flailed all over the bed, most likely with my feet hanging out (they don't like to be confined) and I might be drooling and snoring just a bit (but that's never been proven). The alarm goes off, and I reach frantically for it to hit snooze. Repeat four or five times, and I might suddenly sit up, my hair a rat's nest, and quickly put in my contacts as I realize I'm running late. Again. (Throw in some shots of the clock to illustrate this, it'll add suspense.) We'll skip the next part. No one needs to know THAT much about me.
Once I'm slightly awake, I turn on my "Morning Dance Party" CD (it does exist) and dance while getting ready to face the day. This CD includes the latest from Lady Gaga as well as old school songs like "California Love." This would be quite entertaining for viewers, as I'm almost certain I'm an abysmal dancer. I kind of flop around like I'm having an episode. No worries though, it's all in fun. Something quite interesting happens when it comes time to find something to wear. I tend to sit and stare at my clothes for long periods of time. Oh wait, did I say interesting? I meant boring. I have no idea where the time goes while I contemplate my outfits. Mostly I'm in my head. I suppose some of that would have to be narrated. Do I go for boring black? Do I try to do a theme? (My favorite theme outfit is my circle one.) Comfy? Warm? Wow, this show is going to be amazing.
Once I'm dressed, it's about the time I start talking. Now, of course I've been singing with the music, but this is the time when I start calling for my posessions. Oh hello, car keys. We're leaving soon. Mr. Microwave, what should I make for lunch today? CD player, stop skipping on my Jai Ho! And we're out the door, still singing, definitely still dancing. (It's really a good thing I don't see people in my hallway very often) (Who is we? Seriously??)
In the car, I talk to the other cars. I believe I have mentioned before that I don't talk to the people in the cars, but the cars themselves. This is between songs on the radio, of course, with which I am obligated to sing at the top of my lungs.
Work would be pretty entertaining. I work with a funny bunch. Maybe we should all have a show. We could call it "The Office." Wait. That's already taken? Okay, then we'll call it "The Cube." Awesome. Our conversations would be entertainment enough to fill an entire hour (yes, my show will be an hour), and that doesn't even include the quiet times peppered with me singing to myself or dancing in my chair or staring at Nicole (lol) or throwing objects at Phyllis. I mean...errr...Phyllis throwing things at me. That's right. That's how it goes. Or would go. If that really ever happened. Uhhh... (Hi Amanda! I'm dedicating this blog to you ;))
Cameras might follow me to my different towns and watch as I park in random parking lots, but that's not very exciting. And they definitely couldn't follow me on my sessions! Sheesh. Can't believe that was even up for discussion!
What else might you expect from my show? Well. When I'm by myself for long periods of time, the real craziness begins. In my head. Which is when I giggle randomly. Or roll my eyes. A camera might walk in to find me laying on the floor contemplating the ceiling or the carpet. Or stacking things. What things? I don't know. Just things. Or perhaps just standing in the middle of the room, having forgotten why I was there.
Earlier this evening I was trying to figure out if the digits in my phone number spelled out anything fun. Or anything at all. They don't. I was bummed.
What was I talking about? I got bored. Okay, so maybe the reality show isn't the greatest idea. But I would sure be entertained. And so would my friends. Because I have A LOT of friends. (That was just for you, Nicole!)
Um. I have no good ending for this. I hate when endings are abrupt, but I just
The scene opens as the sun streams through the slats of the window blinds onto a still figure. The room is beautiful and immaculate, and the woman in the bed sleeps peacefully, radiating beauty and warmth even in slumber. As the birds announce the beginning of another day, she stirs, opening her eyes and sitting up gracefully, arms reaching in a luxurious stretch. She catches sight of the cameras and gives a friendly smile, her straight white teeth glinting in the sunlight.
BWAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, so we're not in a Disney movie. Sorry, I'll start again.
In reality, it would probably start with me hiding under my comforter from the light. I would be flailed all over the bed, most likely with my feet hanging out (they don't like to be confined) and I might be drooling and snoring just a bit (but that's never been proven). The alarm goes off, and I reach frantically for it to hit snooze. Repeat four or five times, and I might suddenly sit up, my hair a rat's nest, and quickly put in my contacts as I realize I'm running late. Again. (Throw in some shots of the clock to illustrate this, it'll add suspense.) We'll skip the next part. No one needs to know THAT much about me.
Once I'm slightly awake, I turn on my "Morning Dance Party" CD (it does exist) and dance while getting ready to face the day. This CD includes the latest from Lady Gaga as well as old school songs like "California Love." This would be quite entertaining for viewers, as I'm almost certain I'm an abysmal dancer. I kind of flop around like I'm having an episode. No worries though, it's all in fun. Something quite interesting happens when it comes time to find something to wear. I tend to sit and stare at my clothes for long periods of time. Oh wait, did I say interesting? I meant boring. I have no idea where the time goes while I contemplate my outfits. Mostly I'm in my head. I suppose some of that would have to be narrated. Do I go for boring black? Do I try to do a theme? (My favorite theme outfit is my circle one.) Comfy? Warm? Wow, this show is going to be amazing.
Once I'm dressed, it's about the time I start talking. Now, of course I've been singing with the music, but this is the time when I start calling for my posessions. Oh hello, car keys. We're leaving soon. Mr. Microwave, what should I make for lunch today? CD player, stop skipping on my Jai Ho! And we're out the door, still singing, definitely still dancing. (It's really a good thing I don't see people in my hallway very often) (Who is we? Seriously??)
In the car, I talk to the other cars. I believe I have mentioned before that I don't talk to the people in the cars, but the cars themselves. This is between songs on the radio, of course, with which I am obligated to sing at the top of my lungs.
Work would be pretty entertaining. I work with a funny bunch. Maybe we should all have a show. We could call it "The Office." Wait. That's already taken? Okay, then we'll call it "The Cube." Awesome. Our conversations would be entertainment enough to fill an entire hour (yes, my show will be an hour), and that doesn't even include the quiet times peppered with me singing to myself or dancing in my chair or staring at Nicole (lol) or throwing objects at Phyllis. I mean...errr...Phyllis throwing things at me. That's right. That's how it goes. Or would go. If that really ever happened. Uhhh... (Hi Amanda! I'm dedicating this blog to you ;))
Cameras might follow me to my different towns and watch as I park in random parking lots, but that's not very exciting. And they definitely couldn't follow me on my sessions! Sheesh. Can't believe that was even up for discussion!
What else might you expect from my show? Well. When I'm by myself for long periods of time, the real craziness begins. In my head. Which is when I giggle randomly. Or roll my eyes. A camera might walk in to find me laying on the floor contemplating the ceiling or the carpet. Or stacking things. What things? I don't know. Just things. Or perhaps just standing in the middle of the room, having forgotten why I was there.
Earlier this evening I was trying to figure out if the digits in my phone number spelled out anything fun. Or anything at all. They don't. I was bummed.
What was I talking about? I got bored. Okay, so maybe the reality show isn't the greatest idea. But I would sure be entertained. And so would my friends. Because I have A LOT of friends. (That was just for you, Nicole!)
Um. I have no good ending for this. I hate when endings are abrupt, but I just
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Happily Ever After...
I want to be Cinderella. No, really. I love Cinderella stories. I don't care if that puts me at a maturity level of a five year old. I don't think five year olds can really appreciate the complexity of the story of Cinderella. I feel like it's a timeless one, played out over and over again in books and movies. I own the Disney Cinderella movie, and well as "A Cinderella Story," "Another Cinderella Story," and "Ever After." Many other movies I own could probably fall into this category, even if they aren't sold to be Cinderella stories. It's fine. Laugh. It makes me happy. (Wow, I sound super defensive. Sorry!)
Anyway, I think for me there are several things that make Cinderella such a great story. First, I think that Cinderella is a character lots of people can relate to. I mean, who hasn't been teased and treated badly? Who hasn't wanted to make those people eat their words? (Now I sound all revengey...I don't really wish ill on people who have wronged me...too much...) But seriously, admit it, sometimes it would be nice to see those people with the "holier than thou" attitude get taken down a notch or two. For their own good, of course. ;)
Then of course there is the idea that even from humble beginnings, anything is possible. Cinderella went from losing both her parents and being turned into a servant and treated horribly by her stepmother and stepsisters to becoming a princess! How awesome is that? Dreams do come true!
My favorite part I think is the love story aspect. (Now I'm all romantical sounding...it's okay to gag) I love that with all the beautiful women, nicely dressed, wealthy, "bred" to be ladies, the prince still chooses Cinderella in the end. It doesn't matter to him what she looks like or where she comes from, because he loves who she is.
Now, I realize this is a very romanticized view of the story. I mean, Cinderella was dressed just like all the other women when the prince met her, and in all the movies the "Cinderella" character is always beautiful. Also, in most of the stories, the prince only spends but a few minutes with Cinderella, so in reality he couldn't possibly know he loves her. But I don't like to think about those things. I like happy endings, and I like to believe good things can happen to good people.
Do Cinderella stories really exist? I don't know. But if they do, I hope I get to play Cinderella.
Anyway, I think for me there are several things that make Cinderella such a great story. First, I think that Cinderella is a character lots of people can relate to. I mean, who hasn't been teased and treated badly? Who hasn't wanted to make those people eat their words? (Now I sound all revengey...I don't really wish ill on people who have wronged me...too much...) But seriously, admit it, sometimes it would be nice to see those people with the "holier than thou" attitude get taken down a notch or two. For their own good, of course. ;)
Then of course there is the idea that even from humble beginnings, anything is possible. Cinderella went from losing both her parents and being turned into a servant and treated horribly by her stepmother and stepsisters to becoming a princess! How awesome is that? Dreams do come true!
My favorite part I think is the love story aspect. (Now I'm all romantical sounding...it's okay to gag) I love that with all the beautiful women, nicely dressed, wealthy, "bred" to be ladies, the prince still chooses Cinderella in the end. It doesn't matter to him what she looks like or where she comes from, because he loves who she is.
Now, I realize this is a very romanticized view of the story. I mean, Cinderella was dressed just like all the other women when the prince met her, and in all the movies the "Cinderella" character is always beautiful. Also, in most of the stories, the prince only spends but a few minutes with Cinderella, so in reality he couldn't possibly know he loves her. But I don't like to think about those things. I like happy endings, and I like to believe good things can happen to good people.
Do Cinderella stories really exist? I don't know. But if they do, I hope I get to play Cinderella.
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